


Ambivalent

by BlueOranges



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Angst, M/M, N O T, Sad and Happy, W H O O S H, anyways here's emotions by Mask, aww masky im sorryyy, damn mask your feelings SUCK, i say as i have the same emotions, it is both a blessing and a curse, it s u c k s, kinda sorta, the power to go numb, vent? maybe-, you can be happy one minute then one bad thought and, you don't feel anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25099252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueOranges/pseuds/BlueOranges
Summary: Mask's feelings are all over the place.
Relationships: Aloha/Mask (Splatoon)
Kudos: 5





	Ambivalent

**Author's Note:**

> Mask's feelings really went ↓ and ↑ and then back ↓ again.

It's suffocating when the person who makes you happy is also a source of your pain. At least, that's what's happening to Mask.

He rubbed his hands over his eyes to rub the soreness out. Can eyes even get sore? Nah, probably just him being him.

Mask scratched a little at his skin, wincing when he accidentally brushed past a spot where he scratched too hard. He looked at the red patch before spreading more lotion on it to soothe the pain faster. He'd let it burn, but it was more of a nuisance to deal with than anything.

He laid on his bed, shaking a bit as he was still a bit off from the conversations he's had today.

Mask heard his phone let out more dings as he bit his lip and his eyes instinctively shut. His eyebrow was twitching, not a good sign either. He had to calm down already or else he'll drive himself insane.

It wasn't helping that the squid he asked for help was scaring the shit out of him. Who knew Bobble could get creepy if you read the tone of the message right? Apparently only Mask.

He let out a shaky sigh as he looked at his phone, after all, he had to answer sooner rather than later if he didn't want Bobble to show up and kill him. His heart skipped a beat.

Aloha.

He put the phone down.

Mask didn't want to talk to him. He didn't he really didn't. It all hurt. Why did it hurt? He didn't know, he didn't want to admit he secretly knew. So many thoughts and they were all contradicting each other. He should've just shut up and not said anything to Bobble. 

But it's not like he could talk to anyone else either. He couldn't bother any one on Team Cyan, and he couldn't bother Army, or Skull. They're all probably tired of his shit. Scuba crossed his mind, but he only introduced himself to the guy once. It'd be weird to talk to him, especially when the goal is to repair what he did.

What did he do?

Mask wasn't sure of that question himself. 

The usual answers came to mind: He didn't try hard enough. He didn't do anything to improve. He wasn't enough. He went numb.

Why did he even go numb? Over some game that wasn't even worth it. To be honest nothing was worth it compared to Aloha. Yet the game got the best of him anyways. He just... stopped. Stop feeling everything. He tried to hold on, but as one of the answers said. He didn't try hard enough. 

He gulped. Was it going to be this way forever? Just a never ending loop of him not being good enough for anything? For anybody? He screwed his eyes shut as the burn came. Yuck. Tears.

After what seemed like a lifetime, albeit was only five minutes, he turned over the phone, looking at Aloha's message. Seeing Bobble's "Talk. Now." send another ache down his body. He really didn't want to text Aloha now. But how would he ever be enough if he let the pain get the best of him?

His brain reached a rode block. Answering became hard as he never seemed to come up with a response in his head. Every time he grabbed one, it went away into the abyss of his mind. It was frustrating to say the least. 

'you don't have to pretend that you're making sense of what i'm saying |'

Mask deleted that. He couldn't say that. He just sent a one word text. His head hurt.

He smiled to himself. He couldn't salvage a conversation to save his life. Oh well, he's accepting the fact he'll never be good enough anyways. He felt another pain in his body. He couldn't tell where it was. His heart maybe? Whatever, who cares. If it was a heart attack it wouldn't really matter, would it?

No. Not really.

He wished it was.

The more the conversation went on, with Mask wanting to hit himself every time he sent a dry or poorly crafted message, Mask's mood began to lighten. Though this was inevitable since he _was_ talking to his crush. 

Of course, it didn't take long before his mind decided to wander. From running off into the night to commit some weird adventure that might turn into arson to more... intimate acts. Though if you asked Designer small kisses wouldn't exactly count as intimate. Mask's affection scale wasn't like everyone else's, affection was more sacred in his opinion.

He grimaced as memories of previous partners taking the feeling of sacredness for granted. Though he wasn't exactly innocent in one of them, he still had his mindset. That relationship was tarnished already anyways. Locker room talk.

Mask shivered, the need to scratch as his skin came back. It went away quick though, Aloha being cute in the conversation distracted the cyan inkling.

What was he sad about again? He couldn't remember. His focus was just on Aloha now. Then again if you were to ask the members of Team Cyan, all Mask did was focus on Aloha. Stopping in matches with challengers to text him, never being able to get through a normal conversation without the mention of the pink inkling, and not even video games were an escape! They really wished the two would just get together already.

Mask stopped.

Him and Aloha? Together? 

No, that'd never happen.

He looked at the screen. It was only a matter of time before Aloha left, found someone worth talking to. Aloha deserved someone who tried harder to break out of their shell of numbness to have a proper conversation with him. Aloha deserved someone who would continue to make him happy for a long time.

Mask felt everything drain from him. Previous thoughts invaded his mind, taking over the more joyful ones and filling them with hurt. His bright cyan dulled.

...

Why was he happy again?

**Author's Note:**

> The story: kinda sad whatever
> 
> My fucking youtube, playing annapatsu in the background: boy, stop playing, grab my ass!
> 
> Not complaining about the song but it was not the time lmao


End file.
